I don’t like nursing. There. I said it. Now’s the part where you think very negative, and extremely un-nurturing things about me. I know nursing is supposed to be a wonderful bonding experience. That it’s a time for mom and baby, and excuse to sit down, all that. But mostly, for me, it’s uncomfortable, inconvenient, awkward and occasionally painful. My introduction to nursing happened 2 years and 3 months ago and it was one of the most miserable experiences of my life. I didn’t cry in labor. I didn’t cry when we moved across the ocean, when my grandparents died, or even when I broke my arm when I was 9. I cried when I was nursing Avery. I also have negative psychological responses to nursing that were worse with Evelyn than with Avery. So, I know a lot of people love nursing. I know a lot of people wish desperately that they could nurse and I really feel for those people too. I’m glad I can nurse. But I don’t like nursing.
What does this have to do with pants you ask. Well, there are a few things about nursing I do like, and one of my favorites is what nursing does to my waist. I went to put on the pair of pants I bought before we left Utah because they fit me so perfectly, and they’re too big. With both of my kids I’ve lost all my pregnancy weight and an additional pant size in the six months or so after giving birth. Before I had Avery I was somewhere between a size 14 and 16 and now my 12 s are too big. So I guess I’ll keep nursing, mostly because it’s good for my babies and because it’s waaaaay cheaper, but also for the perks.
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So here I am at 1:30 in the morning, sitting with an almost asleep enough 2 week old and considering my life as I know it. Evelyn was in bed and asleep at 11:30. Unfortunately she was not at midnight, so I’ve spent the last hour and a half walking, burping, feeding, refeeding, burping again, and bouncing, trying to figure out what will let her sleep. Finally, during our last walking session she let out a big burp, got the hiccups and settled down. Poor kid. I knew she had something in there she needed to work out.
Two weeks into having two kids I find myself tired (but not as tired as I probably will be in another couple weeks), kind of stressed (but not as stressed as last time around), and a little more calm than I thought I would be. The calm might have something to do with the fact that I got to leave the kids home with Grandma and Grandpa and go spend an hour and a half eating Italian food all alone with Ivan, but I think I just feel a little more like I know what I’m doing this time and that’s a big deal for me.
It’s interesting having two kids. I found myself missing Avery the other day. She’s around ALL the time and she’s been really cranky the last few days, but I’m usually pretty busy taking care of Evelyn and I haven’t had the time to spend just with her lately that I used to. I miss playing with her. I got to put her to bed tonight. Ivan’s been doing that a lot lately. We brushed her teeth and read a story, and then we played the itsy bitsy spider and similar games for a few minutes before I tucked her in and heard her little “ni ni” (night-night). It was really nice to lay down with her for a few minutes and play. She can be pretty cute.
I think my two little girls are pretty precious, but just so you know how tired I am… I tried to spell “bed” in the first paragraph of this post b-e-a-d. And that was only the first typo. Feel free to laugh uproariously at any more you may find that I didn’t catch.
I’m kind of curious… any of you mothers out there that may read this… did you have troubles with breastfeeding? This time around was much better. It’s still a little uncomfortable, but by 2 weeks the pain of breastfeeding was pretty much gone. I did blister and bleed a tiny bit this time around, but nothing compared to when I nursed Avery. With Avery it took a good three weeks before the pain was gone and I was comfortable with nursing and I bled for several days. It was a little traumatic.
Nursing is hard, and I have to confess it’s not my favorite thing to do. I’ve talked to lactation consultants any chance I get, but for anyone thinking about it… I definitely think it was worth it. The first few weeks are bad, but it gets better. Not to judge formula feeding in any way… it’s the right choice for a lot of people.
I think the little one is asleep enough to move and I think I’ve rambled long enough. To sleep…
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